Borrowing from Burroughs

William Burroughs was over rated. Junk was the only book he ever wrote that had a semblance of plot, character development and a narrative structure containing a story.

And he was a life long junky.

And he got away with murder--he missed the apple and put a bullet through his wife's head trying unsuccessfully to re-enact the legend of William Tell.

Still, I have to cite Burroughs for a method of writing called "cut-up" which was cut and paste long before "highlight passage", " Press Control X/ PressControl V" came along. He would take scissors to books and magazines, cut out phrases higgedly pigeedly and re-assemble them as original text.

I've been saving to text snippets from porno spam thinking maybe one day I'll do something similar and toss all hundreds of phrases into a word scrambler, hit Enter and see what I come up with.

Some I have in my collection need no further revision. They entertain me as is.

I snagged this one today.

"Eighteen World killing unique site with russian blonde milf with lovely firm tits in stockings."

First off--if there are eighteen of these sites with russian blonde etc, how can they be unique?

I know what milf is an acronym for--I sat through American Pie. But the acronym first came to my attention when an tragic incident occurred in the southern Philippines as a marauding gang of Islamic insurgents wasted a village of infidels 'round '95, '96. I believe the Moro Islamic Liberation Front is still around.

Then there's the "lovely firm tits in stockings". can't see it. Granny tits may fit into stockings. Firm ones, uh uh.

Then there's this questionnaire I'm assembling from spam questions.
When I collect 500, I'm going to assemble my own Minnesota Multi-Phasic Personality Indicator.

1. Do you want women to run to you like the night butterflies flying to the light?
Yes--but not "like", "as". I would like to see a bunch of women running around in night butterfly drag.

2. Do you want women to have you in their sexual fantasies?
No. I want women to have other men in their sexual fantasies while I watch.

3. Are you ready for the new, extremely pleasant and irresistible adventures in bed?
Yes. But not on my sheets.

Do you want to lose your head and wake up drowning in the ocean of your own sperm?
None of the above. I believe the decapitation renders drowning imposible.

Do you want your woman to be going like ooh la la? Hmm. What's like ohh la la? Ahh lu lu?

(In Arabic, the first one is ooh no no. The other is ahhh a pearl--I like the pearl one best)