Four More Years (of telling taxi drivers I'm from Canada)
I crawled out of bed at 4:57 Friday morning (Thursday, 8:57 PM ET) to watch the VP debate, hoping to witness an historical gaffe or goof, a jaw dropping blunder of Biblical grandness--live, as it happens. I made sure my bladder was completely empty before going downstairs to sit in the dark with the TV on a low volume.
In November, 1963, when all TV programming was preempted for three days after Kennedy was shot, I watched with my father on a Saturday morning as Lee Harvey Oswald was being escorted from the jailhouse, and thought it boring. A little put off about my cartoons not airing, I left my father alone in the living room. I had to pee anyway. Climbing the stairs to the bathroom, I heard Dad holler, "Holy shit! Would you look at that!" Bang.
Ah fuck. I missed it. History.
In January, 1986, I sat drinking beer and smoking pot with my brother, channel surfing when he stopped clicking the remote to watch a space shuttle launch. Seen one, seen them all. I had to pee. From my brother's john I heard him yell out "Holy shit! Did you see that!" Boom.
Fuckity fuck.
What I was hoping for last Friday morning was to see "it" live, to have a cerebral orgasm as I witnessed live and in color a gimmicky political trick backfire, go kablam!.
I sat through 90 minutes waiting for the meltdown, for her to say it's so, it's true, to tell us that the world is only 6,000 years old, that Adam and Eve ran with dinosaurs, that in case of rapture, her car will not have a driver, that a final shoot out in the Middle East is a good thing because that's gonna bring back Jesus. Madam guvneh, would you define abomination for us? Sister Sarah, please do or say something so incredibly stupid that you could out-Bush Bush in the same heart beat you'll be away from the presidency. Would you show us your tits already?
Maybe there wasn't the instantaneous frozen in time "where were you when it happened" moment I'd hoped for, no gun shot in a parking garage or a great fire ball exploding against a sea blue sky, but it was still, for me, an historical, tragical holy shit, I can't believe my eyes moment nonetheless. A moment of epiphany anyway.
Y'know? Y'betcha by golly, I think the Republicans are going to pull it off.
I'm related to some exceedingly white people living in some exceedingly white suburban neighborhoods. They have a whole lot of friends. They certainly outnumber me and my ilk. They have watched their kids from the sidelines. They vote.
So Bang. Kaboom. Gotcha. Shit.
Want to see a blind kitten living in Sharjah?
In November, 1963, when all TV programming was preempted for three days after Kennedy was shot, I watched with my father on a Saturday morning as Lee Harvey Oswald was being escorted from the jailhouse, and thought it boring. A little put off about my cartoons not airing, I left my father alone in the living room. I had to pee anyway. Climbing the stairs to the bathroom, I heard Dad holler, "Holy shit! Would you look at that!" Bang.
Ah fuck. I missed it. History.
In January, 1986, I sat drinking beer and smoking pot with my brother, channel surfing when he stopped clicking the remote to watch a space shuttle launch. Seen one, seen them all. I had to pee. From my brother's john I heard him yell out "Holy shit! Did you see that!" Boom.
Fuckity fuck.
What I was hoping for last Friday morning was to see "it" live, to have a cerebral orgasm as I witnessed live and in color a gimmicky political trick backfire, go kablam!.
I sat through 90 minutes waiting for the meltdown, for her to say it's so, it's true, to tell us that the world is only 6,000 years old, that Adam and Eve ran with dinosaurs, that in case of rapture, her car will not have a driver, that a final shoot out in the Middle East is a good thing because that's gonna bring back Jesus. Madam guvneh, would you define abomination for us? Sister Sarah, please do or say something so incredibly stupid that you could out-Bush Bush in the same heart beat you'll be away from the presidency. Would you show us your tits already?
Maybe there wasn't the instantaneous frozen in time "where were you when it happened" moment I'd hoped for, no gun shot in a parking garage or a great fire ball exploding against a sea blue sky, but it was still, for me, an historical, tragical holy shit, I can't believe my eyes moment nonetheless. A moment of epiphany anyway.
Y'know? Y'betcha by golly, I think the Republicans are going to pull it off.
I'm related to some exceedingly white people living in some exceedingly white suburban neighborhoods. They have a whole lot of friends. They certainly outnumber me and my ilk. They have watched their kids from the sidelines. They vote.
So Bang. Kaboom. Gotcha. Shit.
Want to see a blind kitten living in Sharjah?
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4 Comments:
It's early, after a great deal of coffee, so this post really spoke to me. I'm glad I was able to watch the kitty video in its entirety without longing for bathroom privileges.
Despite the absence of a meltdown (also longed-for in that schadenfreude way), I agree!! - it was just as historic. What was once all speculation and not-liking-them on principle became very solid.
I don't mind (not so much) if my fella citizens like her because they just do, but I really have to draw the line at the thinking conservatives who will cheer her on without also openly admitting that they'd be happy that an ill-informed and truly second rate mind might end up in the Oval Office because they really DO want to govern NOT by democratic principles at ALL.
There is a big difference between being cocktail party and belly up to the bar sure that's what they're doing and literally seeing it in action.
I think I'll watch the kitty video again.
Booda, when I'm in over my head at a cocktail party, I hang in the kitchen and make off color haikus with word magnets when they're available--I know my limitations. This conservative ticket would work that cocktail party crowd with "knock knock" jokes. (And forget the punchlines)
My Email to friends about this post begs the question--do people back there know or care about how much the rest of the world abhors us right now?
She did mention something about America being a country with a special destiny...and that Joe Biden´s wife, a teacher, would have her reward in heaven
...a couple of kinda religious comments, but hardly a slice of fruitcake...so I like you, was quite dissapointed.
My greatest kicks came for swapping between the BBC and Fox for the post match comments
Brew man, those nekkid college polariods are out there--it's just a matter of time.
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