Not quite a blog entry
As I take baby steps towards resuscitate my blog with what I hope will one day soon reflect an original thought, I'm moving up one rung from embedding a Youtube post and counting that as an entry; now I'm pasting in a mass forwarded Email that I'd like to share.
This concerns the seniors' tax rebate. I am a tax exile of sorts (bless my li'l ol' IRS form 2555), so I don't really keep up with the US taxation ballyhooing and boohooing or who's hewing whom.
But you can't argue with this logic. Well, maybe you can. But I likes it!
Just in Case You are a Senior and Get a Check for $250...
Seniors may again receive an Economic Stimulus payment. This is a very exciting prospect. I'll explain it using the Q and A format.
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers..
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen..
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of Asia ?
A. Shut up or you don't get your check.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
1. If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, your money will go to China .
2. If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to Saudi Arabia .
3. If you purchase a computer, it will go to India .
4. If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras or Guatemala.
5. If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
6. If you purchase useless plastic stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
7. If you pay off your credit cards, or buy stock, it will go to pay management bonuses and be hidden in offshore accounts.
Or, you can keep the money in America by:
1. spending it at yard sales or flea markets, or
2. going to baseball or football games, or
3. hiring prostitutes, or
4. buying cheap beer or
5. getting tattoos.
These are the only wholly-American- owned businesses still operating in the US .
Conclusion:
The best way to stimulate the economy is to go to a ball game with a prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day until you're drunk enough to go get tattooed .
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers..
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen..
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of Asia ?
A. Shut up or you don't get your check.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
1. If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, your money will go to China .
2. If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to Saudi Arabia .
3. If you purchase a computer, it will go to India .
4. If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras or Guatemala.
5. If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
6. If you purchase useless plastic stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
7. If you pay off your credit cards, or buy stock, it will go to pay management bonuses and be hidden in offshore accounts.
Or, you can keep the money in America by:
1. spending it at yard sales or flea markets, or
2. going to baseball or football games, or
3. hiring prostitutes, or
4. buying cheap beer or
5. getting tattoos.
These are the only wholly-American- owned businesses still operating in the US .
Conclusion:
The best way to stimulate the economy is to go to a ball game with a prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day until you're drunk enough to go get tattooed .
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6 Comments:
That is so silly (but it totally counts as pushing the lungs of your blog around. Did the po' things kind of atrophy there?) :)
The good news (sort of, because it's not really good news) is that the revenue stream now includes all sorts of people that don't actually make anything but nevertheless provide it behind a nice storefront called something that requires a play on words. If you can keep a few of them in business, it's good for someone, I'm sure.
Hey!! I'M an American business.
I agree-the parts about going to a yard sale and getting a tattoo are downright goofy.
250 smackeroos. What's that buy these days? A tank of gas and a Big Gulp?
Kentucky Whiskey!..Everything after that is just window dressing.
A bottle of Kentuck' Bourbon and a couple of Slim Jims. Now that's good eatin'.
So, has the wheezing settled into any kind of normal breathing pattern? I can't tell from a sea, an ocean and a continent away. That's what a blog is good for - you can keep us updated on your blog's health.
Long semester, dumbed down curriculum, can't find a cat sitter for the summer, the heat is on its way--plenty to bitch about. Stay tuned.
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