Taking off
Just as the double gin and tonic and ten milligram Valium body slammed me, I collapsed into my window seat, headphones on, listening to static, feeling pre-flight goofy, scrawling in my pocket notebook.
"In case of unexpected turbulence keep seat belt fastened at all times. . ."
What an extraordinary life it would be if we could learn to be our own greatest companion, to be able to wrap ourselves around ourselves in the middle of the night, in the middle of nowhere, to steady ourselves in the dark, to learn the importance of caring for ourselves as we might care or make a great pretense of caring for others. How utterly refreshing it would be to find myself in bed in elegant isolation, just laying there, wordlessly, restlessly awaiting each new day to begin.
". . . observe the exits. . ."
I have tried over and again and have on rare occasions succeeded in outrunning others and their needs managing to stay a step ahead of caring about the consequences, but not with what one might think of as regularity.
". . . a reminder not to smoke on board. . ."
Remember being young enough to fall recklessly in love while at the same time candidly going for your own throat in the process? Running from here and running to there can be just as fleeting as young love, just as passionate as uncultivated sex.
". . .stow luggage under a seat or an overhead compartment. . ."
How startling life would be if I could hide all this baggage which long ago took root squarely between my pretense of giving a damn about anything and actually giving a damn.
". . . use of passenger seat cushions as flotation devices . . ."
I'll float far from here escaping on a gust, unrestrained from sensible choices, free to breathe me again.
What an extraordinary life it would be if we could learn to be our own greatest companion, to be able to wrap ourselves around ourselves in the middle of the night, in the middle of nowhere, to steady ourselves in the dark, to learn the importance of caring for ourselves as we might care or make a great pretense of caring for others. How utterly refreshing it would be to find myself in bed in elegant isolation, just laying there, wordlessly, restlessly awaiting each new day to begin.
". . . observe the exits. . ."
I have tried over and again and have on rare occasions succeeded in outrunning others and their needs managing to stay a step ahead of caring about the consequences, but not with what one might think of as regularity.
". . . a reminder not to smoke on board. . ."
Remember being young enough to fall recklessly in love while at the same time candidly going for your own throat in the process? Running from here and running to there can be just as fleeting as young love, just as passionate as uncultivated sex.
". . .stow luggage under a seat or an overhead compartment. . ."
How startling life would be if I could hide all this baggage which long ago took root squarely between my pretense of giving a damn about anything and actually giving a damn.
". . . use of passenger seat cushions as flotation devices . . ."
I'll float far from here escaping on a gust, unrestrained from sensible choices, free to breathe me again.
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2 Comments:
Confession: I usually do NOT like these 'lead me into philosophical observations.' I do them all the time, but am SO bad at them (just trying to guess at the secret of my big dislike.)
BUT. This was excellent and to borrow one of your good words - refreshing. Don't you think you've done something wonderful when a careful reader can NOT figure out how you accomplished it?
Shucks. Thanks k'ah'ndly (again) Mizzy Booda Ma'am. I thought the framing device a bit forced, and in six months when I hit my target word count (50K) then go back and revise, I might just keep it now.
All my pre-flight scrawls tend to be juiced up philosophizing, ex. "please dear Lawd, make this a safe flight a safe one so I don't have to spend eternity with this fellow sitting to my left in the aisle seat. He's picking his nose for God's sake" (true scribble)
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