``If, reader, you are slow now to believe
What I shall tell, that is no cause for wonder,
For I who saw it hardly can accept it.''
Dante Alighieri, Inferno, Canto XXV.
Limbo is an important part of the Inferno system. Those who haven't been graced with a beatific vision of redemption are powerless and unrehabilitated. They are left in a lurch. Their drives are stuck in neutral. There is no going forward, no going backwards. They wait. How long they have to wait is not revealed to them. It probably wouldn't be such a bad place if they had a book of crossword puzzles.
Visa wait limbo is a bitch. She's a harpy. She harps on the past. She's looks and sounds like one of my ex-wives--the one who decided to get a PhD after being denied Devi status on an ashram and took it out on the world. Visa wait limbo constantly announces "There is no hope." Visa wait limbo wouldn't be so bad so long as there was a refrigerator stocked with several boxes of university art-opening caliber wine and I thought I could live a life of substance and be a drunk simultaneously.
I've accepted more part time work with a local, well thought of language institute. As Townes Van Zandt says in song, "It's better than waitin' round to die."
I try to maintain an attitude of gratitude. The Rose of Tehran leaves for work every morning around 6:30. before she does, she leaves behind a tray with a banana smoothie, a yogurt, a croissant and a note which begins "Tio Amore".
I've been in visa wait limbos where spare bedroom or couch space privileges were scarce.
During visa wait limbo I usually read books about Stalingrad. They cheer me up.
Or I rent the movie Casablanca because its plot revolves around a bunch of white people stuck in an Arab country waiting for travel permits. The expository voice over says in the beginning of the film that they, "wait and they wait and they wait."
They also go to Rick's every night and get snockered. So again, visa wait limbo can be endured with booze.
But I'm such a chowderhead, I deny myself this solution because there's this program of living I am trying to follow which says the first step to this new way of living is to not depend on booze.
It doesn't say anything about benzodiazapams. I'm on the verge of visiting an Egyptian medicine man.
Until then: IknowIknowIknow.
Live and Let Live. Let Go. Let God. One Day at a Time. Easy Does It.
Damn that alcoholic marker on my DNA.