Tuesday, February 14, 2006

My Cartoon

I want to draw a cartoon too, and I want to rattle world with it. I want a death warrant. I want to piss off a billion people. I want round-the-clock, for-the-rest-of-my-life police protection. I want to become an advocate for basic civil liberties when the insulted masses take to the streets burning the flag of my home country and the flags of any country I have ever lived in , visited or pissed in while waiting for a flight in transit.

But I also want to appear to be original.

I could go after another faith and satirize it. But which one?

I could go after Jesus for example, but why?

It's been done. Many times. Monty Python "Life of Bryan". Peter O'Toole in the "Ruling Class". A "Kids in the Hall" sketch "Dr. Seuss' Interpretation of the New Testament". The last one even managed to take pot shots at Jews.

I could go after the Buddha. "The Adventures of a Prophet with an Eating Disorder". The only fall out would be, if I'm lucky, someone might chant a prayer for me.

Hindus? Naw. The Simpsons did it. "Oh my various Gods", says the store clerk. Or maybe that was a Futurerama. Same difference. Hinduism is a hoot.

Who's left? Confucious? Wasn't a God. Wasn't a prophet. Mao took his place anyway.

The field narrows.

Iran announced that it was going to publish cartoons in its newspaper satirizing the Holocaust. They don't get it.

All the Jews I know tell the best Holocaust jokes.